You MIGHT be A MUSICIAN If...

• your phone is unplugged for 2 hours or more a day so you can practice.
• you are more worried about breaking a finger then breaking a leg.
• Bach is not just a funny sound you can make in your throat.
• when practicing chromatic scales becomes more fun then bowling.
• you spend more money on books, instrument supplies, private lessons, and classes then rent, food, and bills combined and, you have more then one job to pay for everything. 
• you dream about little sharps attacking flats and whole notes falling in love with quarter notes.
• playing The Flight of the Bumblebee is as easy as reciting the alphabet.
• you know that normally The Flight of the Bumblebee is not that easy of a piece.
• the thought of taking a break, if only for a week, sounds crazy and suicidal.
• you listen to PDQ Bach and get all of the jokes. 
• that irritating song that's been running through your head for two weeks is by Mozart.
• that irritating song that's been running through your head for two weeks is from "Wozzeck" by Webern.
• your notice you are drumming your fingers on the table to the rhythm of the classical music being played at the restaurant.
• you walk down the hall singing the bass line to Beethoven's 7th and you wonder why people look at funny. 
• you might be a musician if you consider Stravinsky's "Rite of Spring" marchable. 
• you prefer playing your instrument rather than having sex.
• you know and can recite all the musician jokes and derivitives in score order!
• getting the sniffles is a true catastrophy.
• you walk around conducting the Verdi Requiem, Dvorak Requiem, Bruckner e-minor Mass, Beethoven 7, etc., and wonder why people are looking at you funny.
• you can roughly translate any Latin text, but you've never taken a Latin class.
• your co-workers can tell what you are listening to on your headphones by the way you are typing.
• you're willing to shell out $16 for a score to 4'33".
• you know what 4'33" is.
• you know Tchaikovsky's full name AND all its spellings.
• you have played more instruments than the average person can name.
• you own more in sheet music than in CDs
• you can define the difference between a sonata and a concerto.
• you know 101 jokes involving either violas, French horns, or percussionists.
• you know any jokes about players of any other specific instruments.
• you took more semesters of foreign languages, that you hardly ever use, than english.
• you have expelled more hot air than your average politician.
• you actually cheered on the marching band in high school.
• you have ever played anything by Bela Bartok.
• you had carpal tunnel before computers became popular, or have injured yourself more times sitting down than standing up.